


Indirectly Waiting

by stressedmeout



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Love, M/M, Texting, im just really heartbroken and i hope this can help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 08:10:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7968982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stressedmeout/pseuds/stressedmeout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"hi. im dan howell."</p>
<p>i need a place to vent my feelings. a safe haven, if you will. i don't have any close people in my life, so here i am, on the internet. venting to someone from who knows where doing who knows what. i just want to talk about my problems and hopefully people listen. i want people to know me. hopefully this will help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indirectly Waiting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [a special someone](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=a+special+someone).



> hi everyone! what inspired me to write this was a boy i liked but turned me down after leading me on for around a week. this story is created just by my feelings and emotions, so i hope you like it. im pretty much using this story as a way to cope with inner turmoil i guess. most of the events that take place actually happened (though its really not much) bc its literally about one person just helplessly falling in love with another person. which is disgustingly cliche but whatever im a slut for cliches.
> 
> this is a au, btw. i have no idea if phan is real or not, personally, i think they're married. but everyone is entitled to their opinion. im guessing you people agree with me bc you clicked on a phanfiction? anyway, yeah. this is an au where dan is 15 and in love with a guy he's never met before (which is phil, if you haven't gotten yet.) the setting is different and i am going to make up a lot of stuff straight out of my brain box. and that's basically all you need to know so far. hope you like!

_entry one : hi. im dan howell. i am 15 years old and that's probably the most information i should tell you right now. i guess you can call this a venting blog? im not very sure at the moment, but i guess we'll find out as time passes. i learned at our school's assembly that telling other people your problems, the ones you've been stuffing deep down, helps and not communicating them isn't that healthy. why our school had that assembly was because a kid killed himself from constant bullying and harassment. it was really bad. his name was will. will byers, i think. he was harassed for being gay and liking boys when he was a boy himself. homophobia is such a stupid thing and could be so avoidable if people were just not ignorant. anyway, yeah, he committed suicide and we had this assembly on self-help and to not stuff down emotions. and you see, i don't have friends to talk to. my family have no idea whats going on in my life because they're vvv distant. im pretty different from my family. they're all very engaged in society. while i, being the emo and rebellious teen i am, am not and extremely anti-social. i don't have friends, im pretty much an outcast. im very hidden at school and i'd like to commend myself of being so invisible. surviving school for so long without being picked on is a achievement that i am proud of. im rambling. shit._

_anyway, in a very brief c_ _onclusion: i have too many "problems" and i don't have the people around me to help me. so that is where you, my squirrel friends, come in. i don't have someone to talk to about my issue and according to my school, it's not good for me to just hide my feelings and not tell anyone. so, i decided it might be best to start a blog where i just talk about what goes on in my life and keep you people (if you are actually out there) up to date about my life (which isn't very interesting but i guess you came here for a reason, right? well i hope so.) i guess you need some sort of list to look out for so you guys aren't triggered when i touch on certain topics? that'll be nice, i think. i personally would like that if i was reading a blog. so some stuff to look out for when im just talking about my life:_

  * _my sexuality_
  * _my love life (which is so non-existent)_
  * _depression_
  * _loneliness_
  * _existential crisis'_
  * _random updates where im just sad or extremely happy_
  * _me being over-dramatic_
  * _my interests_
  * _family problems_



_and i think that's it. if i do talk about something a little controversial, i will put a warning in the top of my entry. just wanna look out for you guys ^-^ anyway, i'll get into more stuff when i get here. i'll be back, i promise._

_until next time,_

_danisnotonfire_

_ end of entry_

 

i hover my mouse over to the "post" option and place my finger gently on the left click key on my laptop. i tap it gently, not pressing it down to post my work, but gently tapping it to match the rhythm of the leftover raindrops falling in the drainpipe and hitting the bottom where it met the ground. it had just finished raining and the air was moist and damp. going outside would suck; my hair would go back to being curly again because of the moisture. it's not like i had plans to go out anyway. i stare outside my room window and the sky is a surprisingly bright and sunny, which is strange because it had literally stopped heavily raining not even 5 minutes ago. it is summer, but the weather in London never looked this pretty for a long time. maybe it's sign that mother nature likes my post and i should post it? i'll never know. the sky is a brilliant sky blue and im mesmerized by the beautiful, fluffy clouds that collected in front of it. they're so white and pure, are they even real? it's so rare for London to look so bright; it's normally dark and gloomy after it rains. i got used t it after 15 years of living here. the grass in front of my family's apartment were sparkling because of the dew reflecting the suns rays into my brown, hazel eyes. it is beautiful, really. i look onto the road and it's normal London, as usual. always busy, always the same. but the weather is different today. it's beautiful. i snap out of my trance when my laptop starts to whir from over-heating.

"okay, i get it, i get it. i'll post it, you impatient ancient piece of machinery." i murmur and i click down on the option "post."

_Are you sure you're ready to post your entry?_

i click "yes."

_Thank you for your entry._

hopefully this will help me.


End file.
